


An Ounce of Humanity

by Doctor_Benzedrine



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Depression, Other, Reader-Insert, Self-Indulgent Piece, Suicide, gender neutral reader, reader is mentally ill and SQUIP wants to help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 04:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11752272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Benzedrine/pseuds/Doctor_Benzedrine
Summary: You've always felt like you don't belong, depressed, lonely. Naturally you decided to get a SQUIP. However, he hasn't helped much, and you're sick of it. Before you can end it, he has some words of encouragement.





	An Ounce of Humanity

**Author's Note:**

> The SQUIP is a classic SQUIP. EWM/Keanu Reeves, whichever you prefer. Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts and depression.

"Don't do this," he utters, looking at you straight in the eyes. "T-this isn't my forte, but I know you, better than you know yourself, and I know that we can work this out, I assure you." He seems sincere. He never presents himself in his physical form, but today's different. You wipe a tear from your eyes as you slide over, making room for him to sit beside you. He smiles, pulling you into his arms. Even if he's just a computer and you know he's messing with your nerves, you've never felt anything quite this comforting before. It feels like a genuine, warm, hug. 

"I- I wish that were true, SQUIP, but there's nothing here for me. I thought you'd make me better. I thought you'd make me more confident, happier. I thought you'd help me make friends and achieve my goals, but I'm just too fucked up to even consider your advice, to listen to you. No one cares about me and no one ever will. In this world, I'm insignificant." 

"That isn't true at all." He says, grasping a hold of your head to pull it upwards, meeting his gaze, his blue, glitching, eyes staring directly at you. "As I said before, I lack in knowledge whenever it comes to human emotion. I don't understand depression or anxiety, I don't understand why you would want to kill yourself, but one thing I do understand is how wonderful you are." The SQUIP pauses, running a hand through your hair, ruffling it slightly. "Normally, I would recommend you flush me. It's been far too long and I haven't accomplished anything, but the fact of the matter is, I'm attached."

"W-what?" You respond, rubbing at your red eyes. 

"To you, y/n, your beauty, your intelligence, your kindness, everything that resonates within you. Call me flawed, but I did not want to lose you." His eyes soften, the SQUIP reaching out to grasp your hand. "I see potential in you. I always have. You've never needed me, y/n. If you could see what I see, what everyone else sees in you, you would understand that this world does need you in it." 

"Now you're just saying things!" You exclaim, pulling away from him. "You don't mean any of that. You used some search engine to find encouraging words to say to me and you said them!" Tears fill your sockets once more, dribbling down your chin. "What do you know of humanity? Why I belong here? Nothing. You're a computer!" 

"I'm afraid I have failed you, y/n." He utters with a sigh, glancing at the ground. "I failed you whenever I didn't ensure these things earlier on. I should have been encouraging you instead of trying to change you. You needed advice, not a voice telling you that you are not good enough."

"A-are you admitting to being wrong?"

"Yes." Your SQUIP responds with a laugh. "It does not happen very often, so don't get used to it." You laugh with him, feeling your spirits raise ever so slightly. "What I am saying is that I think highly of you, and according to all of the other SQUIPs I am in communication with, so does everyone else, all of your friends, your family. They want to see you succeed, and so do I." 

"What if I fail?" You respond, glancing away from the glitching Keanu Reeves-clad figure beside you. "What if everyone realizes how much of a failure I really am? What if I go to achieve my dreams and I hurt myself? What if everything I think about myself is true, SQUIP?" 

"Stop that." He says, pulling you in for a hug once more. "I am going to make you a promise."

"Yes?" You ponder, curiously.

"I will be a better SQUIP. I will ensure you succeed in all of your dreams, everything you wish to accomplish in life. I will be encouraging to you, even if I do make a mistake and we fail. We are in this together, y/n. If you get hurt, so do I, but I want you to promise me something."

"What is it, SQUIP?"

"Promise you'll stay on this Earth. I see a very probable future where you succeed. Granted, I wouldn't expect any differently, given how lovely you are and all of your astonishing qualities. Stay on this Earth and see what your life has in store. I don't have all of the answers. You'll have to consult a future model for that, but I do have one answer, and that's the fact that so many people love you, myself included, and we all want you to see your inner and outer beauty. You deserve that courtesy. Promise you'll work on your confidence and bettering yourself. I'll be there every step of the way, but for now you have to tell me you'll do this. For me?" 

You stare at your SQUIP, your heart racing. Is all of this true? I- it can't be, can it? It is. A smile forms upon your face for the first time in the long time as you nod your head. "I'll do it." You answer, sure of yourself. "For you, for my family, my friends, and to prove anyone who's ever hurt me wrong. I don't feel good about myself right now, but I know that I can, I know that I can change the world, but I have to be in it to do so." 

"You've got it, kiddo." Your SQUIP responds with a laugh, kissing your forehead. "Now, let's get you to bed. You deserve a rest, and we've got a big day ahead of ourselves."

"SQUIP?"

"Yes?"

"Will you lay down with me? I mean - in your physical form? Like that?" 

"Of course." The glitching figure responds, as he helps you into bed, pulling the blankets over you and rustling your pillows. "Comfortable?" You nod your head as he joins you, laying beside you, holding your hand. "Tomorrow will be better, I promise."

"I know." You say, drifting off to sleep. You're going to do it, change the world, SQUIP or no SQUIP, depression and all. You'll be the greatest figure this world has ever known, but first, you have to show the world who you are. You can do it.


End file.
